


This is me Trying

by phlebotinxm



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bobbi and Hunter Stayed with Shield, Child Loss, F/M, Jemma Simmons Needs a Hug, Miscarriage, Post-Divorce, This is a FitzSimmons Centric Story, With a side of HuntingBird, mention of miscarriage, only mentionned but take care of yourself, past trauma, set somewhere during season 4, triggering themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:42:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26958271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phlebotinxm/pseuds/phlebotinxm
Summary: Jemma hadn’t meant to overhear anything.She’d been on her way to the lab --at 11pm, sure, but she hadn’t been able to shake that suspicion even well after she and Fitz had dined together which turned into a lovely love-making evening-- and she wanted to run a few tests before going to bed and curling around her sleepy, seated boyfriend.Set somewhere during Season 4, but Bobbi and Hunter never left Shield. Beware of the tags.
Relationships: Lance Hunter/Bobbi Morse, Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons
Comments: 5
Kudos: 53





	This is me Trying

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone!
> 
> as you might notice, I'm having a bit of a bobbihunter breakdown lately. I've often wondered what might have been the cause of their breakup given how much they loved each other still, and this was an idea that crossed my mind at some point. I had to write it, but I understand how triggering it might be for some, which is why I went a little heavy in the tags. make sure to check them out before you read!
> 
> as always, english isn't my first language, and this work is unbeta'd. I wrote this in a little less than two hours, so it might be filled with mistakes. xx

Jemma hadn’t meant to overhear anything. 

She’d been on her way to the lab --at 11pm, sure, but she hadn’t been able to shake that suspicion even well after she and Fitz had dined together which turned into a lovely love-making evening-- and she wanted to run a few tests before going to bed and curling around her sleepy, seated boyfriend. 

The base was mostly empty, which wasn’t that surprising for a Tuesday night. Which was precisely why she jumped in surprise when she overheard a couple of voices in the lab, as she walked around the corner from its main entrance. Jemma came to a stop, unsure. She could recognize Hunter and Bobbi’s voices, and she knew her friends well enough to know that they were fighting over something. From where she stood, Jemma could see the two of them discussing --arguing-- in one corner, but she knew she couldn’t be seen from the dark corner she was standing in. She had a few seconds of doubts, feeling bad about her current situation, but Hunter’s distinct voice prevented her from turning around and fleeing. There was no way she could move in the corner of their vision without them noticing, it was a miracle she’d gotten this far in the first place. It turned out she had learned a few things from being surrounded by spies after all. Frozen on her spot against the wall, unable to move, Jemma wrinkled her nose in frustration. 

“I never, ever held you accountable for it!” Hunter was screaming, waving his hands in the air. Something about his tone made Jemma pause. She’d never heard so much pain in her friend’s voice, and Hunter was more than well known for finding a way to make every situation a little lighter in times of conflicts. However, as he stood there and glared at Bobbi, there was no trace of anything but longing and hurt in his voice. 

“Don’t you think I know that?” Bobbi quirked back, swallowing heavily. Jemma couldn’t see her face clearly from where she stood, but she wouldn’t have been surprised to find tears in her eyes. “I didn’t need you to.”

“But that’s just the thing, isn’t it Bob? You didn’t need me to blame you, because you did it yourself.”

“How could I not?” Bobbi’s voice was louder this time, her tone hard. 

“It wasn’t your fault and you know that.” Hunter sounded so incredibly tired. “But you refused to let me help, you refused to make you understand that I wasn’t mad at you, and you  _ left _ .”

Bobbi turned around, facing away from Hunter. Jemma felt her throat choke up a little when she realized her friend was crying, wiping away the tears streaming down her face angrily. 

“I could have helped!” Hunter kept going, his voice breaking on the last word. He wasn’t ashamed of his own tears, and Jemma could see them glistening under the yellowish lights of the lab. “All I wanted to do was help.”

“I know that, Hunter.” 

Silence fell between the two for a little while, only broken by the few sniffs they both let out. Bobbi suddenly seemed ready to face her ex-husband again, and Hunter wrapped his arms around her as soon as she did. 

Jemma didn’t remember ever seeing Bobbi and Hunter this affectionate towards each one another. They liked to play around and occasionally make out in dark corners of the base --when they weren’t sleeping in each other’s rooms-- but Jemma didn’t remember seeing Hunter act this lovingly towards Bobbi in all the time they’d spent there. It seemed almost sacred to witness, and Jemma felt like a voyeur. 

“All I wanted to do was help” Hunter kept going, his voice slightly muffled by Bobbi’s shoulder as he held her even tighter. “But you left. You left, and a few weeks away you sent me the papers to get divorced.”

“You signed them,” Bobbi argued weakly.

Hunter pulled back from her, glaring. “You left! We lost this baby, and then you left. What was I supposed to do, Bob? I was hurting, and I thought… I thought you wanted to make me pay. For not being here when it happened.” 

Bobbi’s face fell. “Hunter… No, never.” 

Jemma’s heart felt like it was physically breaking in her chest, and she had to take a slow steady breath to blink out the tears from her eyes. She’d sometimes wondered exactly what had been Bobbi and Hunter’s breaking point during their first marriage, but she could never have imagined such a thing. 

As much as they liked to act like they hated each other’s guts, they actually worked pretty amazingly together. Everyone in the base could see just how much they loved each other, and Bobbi’s accident had just proven everyone on the team just how far they’d could go for one another. When they’d managed to break them out of the Russian base and save them from the firing squad, everyone realized once more how far they could have gone to save the team, and to stay together. 

To learn that they’d lost a child felt like a physical punch to the guts, and she suddenly felt stupid for never even thinking about it. Had she been indelicate at times? Did she ever push them, did she ever mention something in a thoughtless way that made their heart ache with loss? 

“I’m sorry” Hunter said, interrupting Jemma’s train of spiralling thoughts. He pressed his lips against Bobbi’s forehead, squeezing his eyes shut as he did so. “I’m sorry I was on a mission when it happened, I’m sorry I couldn’t be here for you.”

Bobbi shook her head firmly. “No, Hunter. You don’t have to-- You don’t have to be sorry for anything. It just… it was just so much easier to run away, and I thought… I thought perhaps it wouldn’t hurt that much for you if I wasn’t around anymore, reminding you of what you’d lost.”

The raw hurt on Hunter’s face told Jemma that no, it hadn't been. 

“I was wrong,” Bobbi whispered. “I was wrong, and I’m sorry.” 

Using their closed eyes as a distraction, Jemma quickly walked away from the lab. She wiped out a treacherous tear sliding down her face right before punching the code to her and Fitz’s bunk, walking inside quickly. 

“Jem?” Fitz whispered from underneath the covers, rolling over to face her. 

Jemma’s heart did a weird little flip as she took in the scene in front of her. The bed was still unmade from their earlier activities, the covers and pillow all wrinkled. Fitz must have fallen asleep not long after she’d left for the lab, because he was still half naked and his hair wasn’t wet, meaning he hadn’t showered yet. An adorable pillow mark was embedded on his right cheek, and Jemma realized with a start that he’d clenched her pillow to his chest as he slept.

“Everything alright?” 

His voice startled her a little, and Jemma shook her head. “Fitz…”

She walked to the bed, sitting right next to her boyfriend’s legs. Seemingly alarmed by her tone, Fitz sat up, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. “What’s wrong, Jemma? Have you been crying?” 

“Can you promise me something?” she interrupted, happy to find that her voice wasn’t as wobbly as she would have thought in the first place. 

“Anything.” 

“Promise me we’ll never let hurt and miscommunication get between us?” Jemma said, her heart in her throat. “Promise me… promise me you’ll fight for us, no matter what happens. That you’ll never let me run away from you because I’m scared, or hurt.”

The already firm grip Fitz had on her shoulders tightened a little further, and Jemma let herself fall back on the bed with him, their bodies entwining like two pieces of the same half. Inside of her chest, her heart felt like it could burst out at any given moment, her head dizzy with fear and emotional distress. 

“Of course I’ll fight for you, for us. Haven’t I always?” Fitz pressed a kiss against the side of her face, inhaling her scent. Pressed against him like this, Jemma could feel the lingering scent of sex and sweat on his skin, as well as the characteristic smell of their sheets. In his arms, she felt more at home than she’d ever felt before in her life. “Jemma… what brought this on?” 

She thought about her friends, healing their old wounds in their own way, loving each other despite everything that had happened between them. She thought about all she and Fitz had gone through together already, and how much they’d suffered from what life had brought their way. She thought about how they’d deal, in such a situation, and closed her eyes before more tears leaked out of them. 

“You’re my future, Fitz” she whispered eventually, looking at him. His eyes were frantically searching for hers, and he still looked a little confused but didn’t even hesitate before replying. “You’re mine too, Jemma. There is no future without you in it, and I mean it.” Kissing the tip of her nose, he let out a shaky breath that caressed the side of her lips. “I wanna marry you someday. I want us to leave the field, too, if it gets too dangerous. Because I don’t want us to lose each other, we’ve done that too much already. And I want us to have children, if you ever want that too. I want us to grow old together, and become cranky old people who judge their kids’ choice of life.” 

Jemma laughed a little wetly against his cheek. “Sounds like the perfect plan.” 

“I love you, Jemma Simmons.” he kept going, his voice rough with emotions. “And I promise I will always, always fight for us.” 

And no matter how much her heart ached, and how tightly she held onto him for the rest of the night, Jemma believed him. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on twitter @/keptinonzebridg! xx


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